abalone: an addendum

This evening I will attend a going away party hosted by the teachers at Ara middle school. I was informed we would be going to a restaurant well known for it's abolone. "Are you kidding me?" I though to myself, "all of my co-teachers KNOW I don't like abalone." Not to mention, abalone 2 times in one week? I understand that it is a delicacy and people want to treat me kindly, but a delicacy isn't worth much if I don't like it. I'd rather a shindig in kimbap heaven. I let my teacher know I was not very fond of abalone once again just in case she forgot, and she said "oh I know you dislike abalone...but maybe the principal and vice principal love it." Apparently there is sushi available as well so I am saved. But honestly, could you try and take into account my food preference on my going away party? It's logical isn't it?

On another note, I said goodbye to the faculty at my school today. I cried. And then they presented me with a lovely tea set. I am so psyched. Now, when I go to insadong I can buy a cool large pot! I can't wait. 2 days left in Korea, I'm packed and ready to get going.

Odd logic?

There's been something that has been frustrating throughout my time here in Korea. It's the lack of agency I posses. For the past year, much of my life has consisted of being taken places where I don't know what is in store until I arrive. As a 23 year old, this is hard to handle. I'm powerless. These two situations that have happened most recently are both funny and illustrative of this thought.


The first day I arrived in Jeju I went to dinner with my co teachers and host family. I was asked what I would like to order and strategically made my decision based off the menu prices. I chose a dish that was $14, considering most appetizers were around $9. My host mother gasped. From that moment on, I have always been very astute to prices of things offered to me. For this reason, I felt extremely uncomfortable when my host mother wanted to buy me designer sun glasses as a going away present. First of all, I do not need nor particularly want designer glasses-I am too clumsy-I would lose them or more likely break them. Furthermore, I can buy them in America. I let her know it was unnecessary. Following our escapades to the luxury mall, I mentioned, in attempts to make conversation, that I would buy presents in the traditional market named insadong in Seoul. My host mothers friend then said in Korean, let's go to a traditional market here and ...Something I couldn't understand......
This idea from what I did understand sounded great. To me I thought "that's right you tell her not to buy me sunglasses but rather something traditional like say...a tea set?"

We set fourth to the "traditional store." When we arrived however, we were at the National History Museum. I thought this was a detour but we marched right up to the museum shop. Now you, me and everyone we know understands that museum shops are overpriced, and sometimes kitschy. Well this was no different. The women shopped around and picked up a bag, that I loved. And said "how about this for your mother?" The price was 150 dollars so that idea was squelched quickly. I realized then, what was actually happening. They were attempting to do my gift shopping for me. I was frustrated because I saw nothing worth purchasing for anyone I knew. The women summoned me over after I had overheared them saying "ooooooh yehpudah" *oh beautiful. My host mother then showed me three hand mirrors with kitschy designs on the back. "How about these for your sisters and mother." I showed discontent, not with the mirror but rather how uncomfortable I was with the idea of them buying my presents for me. I bit my tongue though I really wanted to say "Actually its considered vain and impolite to fawn over yourself all day in a mirror like Korean girls do" clearly I refrained. I said "oh no no". Similar to eating, no means yes here in Korea and they purchased them all-at 10 dollars a pop. It only gets worse from there. They ended up buying out the store of 2 dollar cell phone charms and disregarded my warning that 'cell phone charms aren't popular in America." So 25 cell phone charms later, 3 hand mirrors, a book, 3 packs of postcards, and $90 later, my host mom and her friends were content with their purchases...uh my gifts....for other people. As I looked on dissatisfied with the situation, it was clear I felt uncomfortable and even more so frustrated that they would waste so much money when there were such classy items for similar prices. Not to mention I am an adult. I would like to do my shopping. It was the kindest of gestures, but one that just really made no sense at all.

Anyhow, another example occur ed just this evening.
Around September, my host mother gave me a special porridge-a Jeju delicacy named abalone soup. I committed a memorable faux pas by eating all the porridge and leaving the delicacy at the bottom. OOPS. My host mother recalls this story fondly with friends and it has become a running joke. SO WHY THEN, on my farewell dinner with my host father and his parents, would we go to an ABALONE RESTAURANT!!!! As if these meetings aren't awkward enough with elder family members, you have to take me to a restaurant where you know I don't like the food. We walked into a restaurant that I had been told served chicken soup. Needless to say I was perplexed when everyone was consuming fish. This made no sense, and yes my host family chose the restaurant. The awkward conversation in Korean took place, "oh no she does not like the abalone." My mother made me feel better, oh following this course we will have a chicken soup. This was comforting. But when the soup appeared boiling and brewing, there was abalone filled shells flavoring the broth and cooking away. THIS IS NOT CHICKEN SOUP THIS IS ABALONE CHICKEN SOUP. If I don't like abalone, most likely I don't want chicken with abalone flavoring. But hey it's Korea.

Drive-by Gifting

I walked out of 3rd period ready to run to the airport. My students were so rude and disrespectful even on our last class together. It made me think "where have I gone wrong, what did I do?" I sat down in my seat exhausted, and dreading the remaining two classes. Until Kim Yeong Ho ran into the teachers room. He had a present wrapped. He was out of breath. In a very un-korean gift giving way, he threw the gift in my lap and said I am so sad you will leave gotta go bye. He sheepishly ran out of the teacher's room, his friends laughing and not giving me enough time to even say a decent thank you. I opened the card and it said the following:

Dear Lauryn,
Hi! What's up?
I'm writing this letter on my valuable book and I'll rend is and send you. (translation I have no clue)
You'll read this in school, in airport, or in U.S.A.
If you read this in school I'm shameful and I'm die.
Oh I'm kidding. Some time ago you asked me that I have study only Jeju. Do you remember?
Yes, I study english in Jeju, but I have study five years myself and one year to go language school.

You'll read this letter and keep this letter please. Because I don't want to be forgotten. Please you remember me AHHH. My address****
Please write a letter every 3,00000 years oh it's kidding

I'll give you this letter and suprise present tuesday or friday. Don't cry when you get this present

Goodbye

ON THE BACK IT READS

Lauryn! I have a question.
I like Jeong Jin Yeong 2-9
I tell her that I like her
But she doesnt answer me
how I do in this situation?
Please write back answer this question.
And when you do go back?
You doesn't go back or does back (translation will you come back to Korea)

Really goodbye
Your student kim yeong ho


Clearly I cried. It always seems that the bad students outweigh the good. That their awful behavior trumps the wonderful, caring, and funny students. This was just one of the amazingly kind gestures students have showed me this year. I have to make an active effort to remember the good.

Kim yeong ho gave me two notebooks. One had panda's and the other robots-a dream come true. I am thrilled.

Final Lessons and Goodbyes

I occasionally feel bad when I hear of other ETA teachers hosting large scale parties on their last few days of school. But I must admit, hosting parties with 40 students throughout a day is more tiring than you think-and I will say more tiring than teaching. The clean up always falls on the teacher, and the noise level is bound to give anyone a migraine. I learned this the hard way when I held the Black and White party following our completion of the Giver with my 20 students in the states. More than that, I don't want to organize large scale celebration for my departure because to many of my students, I am not sure that it matters.

What I chose to do instead is teach a lesson on diversity as some of my parting words of advice. After learning the proverb "don't judge a book by it's cover," my students play a game where they guess the personalities, jobs, and success of an individual based on one picture. This has proved one of my most interesting lessons thus far.

Here are some of the comments I have received thus far:

Spike Lee
Job:Terrorist, homeless man, rapper, b-boy, criminal, teacher, actor, osama bin laden's son.
He is not kind because he is dirty and ugly.
He is poor and unsuccessful.
A few of my female students on the other hand, thought he was smart because he wore glasses.

On the contrary to Spike Lee Martha Stewart got rave reviews.

Martha Stewart:
Very kind, loving, good person, pretty, rich, nice, Paris Hilton?

When I informed the students that she actually spent time in Jail they sighed and said OHHH NOOOOOOOO SO KIND WHY TEACHER?!?! They were distraught about Martha going to jail, but were assured that Spike Lee was a terrorist.

Margaret Cho was by far one of the more interesting scenarios.
I have a friend back in the states who frequently wore a shirt that read "Chinese Japanese Korean: What's the Difference"-a provocative way to address issues of stereotyping Asians in the United States. What I found interesting here, is that my Korean students, having seen a picture of Margaret in a glitzy dress and sassy look on her face, unanimously said she was EVERYTHING BUT Korean. I heard Japanese, Chinese and Filipino and as to why they said those, they argued it was her face. They told me stories about how she was unsuccessful because she was too sexy and were all flabbergasted when they came to the realization that she was in fact Korean American.

A final picture worth noting was of a Korean American college grad, working at a prestigious cancer research center. My students noted his outfit, appearance and alcohol in hand as the reasons he was unsuccessful. Strangely enough, in order to have a successful career in Korea (that's a mouthful), men are required to drink heavily and frequently. Having my students note that the alcohol lead to his lack of success in life, trumped what is commonplace amongst successful Korean men. Once it was made clear he was quite successful, my students found a new found attraction to the guy. All of a sudden handsome boy, my boyfriend, oh sexy. Funny how a job can alter the perspective of someone.

This lesson made me intrigued by dominant stereotypes on race, gender and image of others. But, I leave in 3 days,and so nothing research based can come out of such a thing. Hopefully I was able to get an important point across, to help work against such stereotyping in the future.

Chaotic Closings

My time in Korea has come to an end. 4 boxes were shipped back to the states last week and I have already attended the first of a few going away parties. It’s approximately ONE WEEK and counting until I arrive back in the states. It's been quite the time, but now, I am tired, and ready for new adventures. Deep down though, I know I will miss so much of what has become another home. I think back to the days when we would call "Not me" for the role of directing taxi drivers to Emart. The days when we couldn’t decipher bleach or detergent at the market. Or the times walking into restaurants, glaring at the menu and not knowing if were would get octopus or pork cutlet. When manisopankapsumneda (nice to meet you) seemed impossible and couples tees were still a novelty. Ok who am I kidding couples tees WILL ALWAYS be a novelty. A country that seemed so incomprehensible, I now navigate with ease. And I find myself laughing for not always understanding simple things...and I frequently reflect on the cultural faux pas I committed in my early days.

Recounting the amazing memories with my comrades and life long friends, it is hard to explain just what happened while we were here. Though I have tried to recount the amazing, frustrating, absurd, laughable, sad stressful and fulfilling times through my blog, I know that this will always be an experience only a few people truly understand.

Its odd how things come full circle. These days I find myself asking the exact same questions I did before departing for Korea one year ago. "What am I getting myself into?" "Am I going to make lasting friendships?" "Why am I moving across the [this time country not world]?" "How will distance affect the strong relationships I have built?" The exciting thing about my next steps is I have built the confidence that I know I can make it anywhere; something I suddenly questioned prior to departing for Korea.

Though I would never give up the experience I have had here, I am ready to get home. It is the first trying time I have had working with students. It tested my interest and ability to work in the field of education for which I did persevere. My faith in the United States school system has been restored. Though there is a great deal of work to be done, I still think developing well-rounded students with exposure to a variety of topics trumps rankings on international tests.

I can't say I have much faith in the language skills I imparted to my students, but hopefully if nothing else-they built the confidence they need in order to be more successful language learners. I learned so much about myself, saw the good and the bad in a way I had not in college or before. I saw the strong relationships I built with friends back in the states withstand distance. And even connected with my younger sister (who is growing up so fast) in a way I hadn't prior to leaving. Here, I was blessed with an amazing host family. Where some of my friends wonder whether they will have to arrange their own transportation to the airport, I know my host family and extended family will be there to see me off.

The next week is filled with goodbye dinners, goodbye taebo classes and packing. This evening I am off to Birthday parties and going away parties in city hall-more like a going away pub-crawl.

There were ups and downs, and now its hard because as much as I want to embrace the next week and soak up all the Korean I can get, I am so eager to get home-it's just challenging. But I know when I get back to the states I will crave Korean and then gasp at the absurd prices-bibimbab should never be more than 4-5 dollars and certainly never 10$. Beer should never cost 5 dollars a glass, rather 5 dollars a pitcher and tipping should be ABOLISHED.

Game Culture

Back in the days when I worked at Rivers Day Camp, my co workers and I used to marvel at the sight that took place at Chuck E. Cheese. It was like gambling for beginners...underage beginners that is. Token after token wasted in attempts to hit the jackpot and win all of the tickets in a neon colored, child friendly version of Russian roulette. Needless to say, it was a hard contest if one were to determine who was more into the games, the campers....or counselors.

An entirely new spin on game culture exists here in Asia We have all heard of the infamous PC bang culture and the obsession with war craft and other computer games of that sort. But this is a more back to basics of culture. Now, most American children by the age of 11 know that crane games rarely prove fruitful and the odds are against them. And, more importantly, for the most part crane games are a thing of the past; dated if you will, to the 90's and before. Especially since the onset of skeptical children crawling into the crane games in order to get their reward through alternate methods, these games are disappearing at a fast rate.

In Asia however, contrary to American culture, a booming industry exists based solely off of crane games. What's more interesting, you don't find them at the local pizza hut or Kmart, but rather the streets lined with beer halls and dance clubs. That's right in Asia crane games are catering to an entirely new demographic. The drunkards. On the streets of Korea one can go at it for hours attempting to buy kitchy lighters and stuffed bears. I would argue from seeing it first hand, Korean boys win their girlfriends over with strong skills in this area. But Taipei, Taipei does it in style. The gaming halls of Taipei are entire rooms filled with crane games. It is like Vegas with a hello kitty theme. And the prizes are not merely stuffed teddy bears, but rather DVD players, computers and mp3 players. Alex is fully immersed in this culture and I am now regretting the fact that I ever supported his addiction with 50 100 beck wan coins. Though he did win me gorilla with a sweatshirt that said Korea on it-if only the sweatshirt fit me, it is so hip.

Korean High School Class Reunions

Awoke Sunday morning and set off to accompany Alex to a volleyball game his host mother was playing in...or so we thought. We hopped on Rafiq's moped which he so graciously let us borrow for the weekend and mobilized. I am getting much more comfortable on the moped might I add. No longer do I try to overcompensate for weight distribution while taking turns by leaning in the opposite direction of the turn. I even carried a cake while riding on the back. I felt like I was an authentic Korean women-well I just needed four children, one on my shoulders and a few dangling off both of my legs. I even had a try at the side saddle riding style.

We didn't really know what to expect. Language barriers leave lots to be interpreted. Anyhow we turned into the gymnasium parking lot and couldn't believe how many people were at this event. We walked into the gym and I felt like I had stumbled across the Smith College reunion weekend Korean style. Groups of women dawning red, blue, yellow and green scarves sit together chatting and eating. What we quickly realized is that although we were under the impression we were going to a vollyball game, we had actually arrived at, was the Seogwipo Girls High School alumnae reunion. We saw co teachers, neighbors,and friend's co-teachers. It was like we had stumbled upon fresh ground for fertile for sociological observation; Aguma culture and female relationships. They played sports-an absurd sight to see, especially the three legged race which eventually turned into a 15 legged race that looked like an awkward chorus line dance. They sang and danced and cheered. Current seogwipo students even performed a parade. The affinity women find for one other through the experience of single sex education was apparent from this event. It reminded me of the close connections and class camaraderie the alums from Smith develop which I have been privileged to see during reunion week in the past years.

We ended up going to dinner with the green team. Alex's host mother and her two best friends invited themselves to America for our wedding. No I didn't know I was getting married. Awkward to say the least.

In other news, Korea is set to play Iraq in soccer on June 29th. How can I miss a game like this? Because I am going home.

Irony Abounds

I browsed the clothing stores of Seogwipo and stumbled across quite the find. A tee shirt that said "stop anorexia." It was an interesting political statement to put on clothing. I picked it up and unfolded it to get a closer look only to find that it was so tiny you'd be hard pressed to find a girl who would fit in it comfortably. How ironic-a tee shirt trying to put a stop to eating disorders that was too small for an anorexic girl.

Made me think of the new Killing Us Softly 3 by Jean Kilbourne.

reflections on Korean Tourism and Yoegwan tour y2k7 an addendum

Korea is a country striving to parallel the tourist industry of its fellow Asian countries such as Japan and China. However as a westerner I see some flawed logic in this attempt. First take Jungmun beach here on Jeju island. Jungmun resort complex is gorgeous and they wish to attract foreign tourists. However most travelers want to swim when they go to the beach. Unfortunately here in Korea, swimming is not done frequently and beach swimming is considered very dangerous. Thus tourists are turned away from frolicking in the ocean and required to stand only knee deep. The unwillingness to compromise will forever hold Korea back from achieving their goals.

Another issue I see is the language issue. Even in Seoul, many people in the service industry do not speak English. I have little Korean under my belt, but I have been able to get by thus far. However one day, as I attempted to go to the train station, heavy pack in tow-I was unable to communicate with my driver in Korean or English. One might think KTX (name of train) and "i am going to Taegu Seoul station please" (in Korean) would be sufficient. But I could not convey this effectively in either language and was left on the side of the road looking for another taxi. Now I am fortunate to have had some Korean, but there are going to be people who lack that luxury and still need transportation. having just traveled to Taipei as well as other parts of Asia, I must admit they far surpass Korea in the ability to help travelers.

Perhaps most interestingly though was what occurred when we arrived back in Korea from Taipei. Having an extremely early morning flight back to the island, we needed an affordable place to stay near the airport, preferably with car service. We consulted the information desk and she directed us to the Sky Grand. It came highly recommended by the airport. We were picked up by an old man in a dodgy old car and taken 15 minutes outside the area. When we turned the corner towards our hotel, a street of love motels glimmered with flashing neon signs. The car entered the covered garage, mind you other vehicles are in the garage. Wooden panels with Sky motel written on are placed to strategically cover license plates. We paid for our room, and walked past the frosted window with images of topless Victorian women carved into them. What really got me was the fact that the GIMPO international airport actually highly recommended a motel with rooms that had a black light, and a coin operated vibrating bed. Many travelers aren't looking for kink, but rather a place to relax. Anyhow, amidst our travels, its ironic that the most absurd place we found wasn't stumbled across down back Allys, but highly recommended by the international airport. Sometimes I just don't get Korea.

Jobless no more

I am excited to say I will return to the states with a job secured. Skype really paid off while I was abroad-so many midnight phone-calls with a variety of potential employers. I suppose so did the countless hours spent in the gymoshel (teachers room); ample time to perfect my resume. Even so, with that said I am sure there are more cover letters out there with grammatical errors than I care to think of. Ooops.

Anyhow, people always say things will fall into place when they are meant to and it seems just about right. The job search is not an easy one, especially when attempting to do it from abroad. But come July 5th I am employed. I will be paid very little and I will live in the most expensive part of the country-Bay area Cali. But, I will be doing something I love. So, I am embarking on a two year fellowship program called The National Teaching fellowship. Check it out www.citizenschools.org . Here, I will get to do curriculum development and implementation, work as a liason between non profits and a specific school, work one-on-one with middle schoolers and pursue a masters! It's a two year gig. This is both comforting in a sense that I have a plan, and yet terrifying for the same exact reason. Nonetheless having a masters in 09 is quite exciting. So is the idea of having full benefits and a retirement plan! This is exactly what I envisioned for myself as an educator so things are looking good.

I got one month left. I arrive in Boston on the 1st. I can't wait to have another rousing 4th of July on the Charles. Then, following a month long intensive summer session, it's off to California. Even though I am a New England girl, everyone says California is for me. I am utterly ecstatic.